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This is Utter Bull-ogna

Have you ever been in the midst of working on a million projects and having work piled up above your head, but as soon as you look around you feel like you have actually accomplished nothing?

Have you ever been working from the moment you wake up until you lie your head on the pillow late at night for day in and day out, yet feel like not enough to-dos were checked off?

Have you ever filled your notebooks with good intentions and high hopes just to look at it at the end of the day and be disappointed in your progress?

Have you ever failed?

On Sunday nights I sit down with my planners (yes I have multiple…more specifically 3 planners and a daily to-do list), and jot down everything I want to accomplish that week. Most weeks this works out really well for me. It helps me stay on task, and work towards my goals. This week has been different.

This past week has been me failing over, and over, and over again. Just when I think I’m making progress or have accomplished something quite large, I realize it was actually the tiniest dent in the massive project ahead of me.

It all started Monday, when I stayed in bed longer than normal. These extra hours of rest became a domino effect. Not just a domino effect for my day, but my entire week. I did not even get half of my tasks for Monday done. Not even one third!! I failed.

I failed again Tuesday, and Wednesday.

Thursday Mr. Charming and I are leaving for a quick trip, so failing the first half of the week means I have failed this entire week.

I have 2 HUGE projects, containing a large number of big projects each, that need to be finished by next weekend, and another trip next weekend. That means I really need to be done with my huge projects by next Thursday afternoon….and I am nowhere near done with large factors of those projects.

The domino effect not only messed with my work, but also my relationship with my husband this week. I have been quite mean, and have snapped more times that I’d like to admit. I have, not only set unattainable goals for myself, but also Mr. Charming. I’ve been so coiled up my emotions throughout the day, waiting to unleash them when my better half got home, that I’ve ended up ranting and venting about situations that, in retrospect, have no bearing on me or my life. All the while I have neglected to speak kindness or love into our marriage, failed to uplift and encourage Mr. Charming, and so much more.

As I reflect on this hard week, and all I the ways I have disappointed myself, I find myself thankful for more than I anticipated. I am thankful for an amazing husband, who forgives me and is patient with me. I am thankful for clients that are understanding. I am thankful for friends who appreciate me even when I can’t see good in myself. I am thankful for sisters that encourage me to pick myself up and keep going. I am thankful for a dad who finds ways to help me with tasks that I see as impossible. I am thankful for a mom that continues to guide me back to Christ in every situation.

Without these people I wouldn’t have been reminded of God’s love for me in the midst of my disappointment with myself. A verse that has helped me as I reflect on a hard week is:

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. -2 Corinthians 9:8

One saying I absolutely hate is: “God won’t give you more than you can handle”, or the plethora of different wordings for the same gist.

He most certain will, has, or is giving you more than your human hands can carry. However… He will not, has not, is not giving you more than He can carry. If you feel like you cannot do it on your own, it’s because you can’t. Point. Blank. YOU cannot. HE can.

I say all this remind you to be gentle with yourself. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself that it negatively affects your relationships. However, at the same time, don’t be passive; work hard, and have goals.

Lastly, don’t forget to run to God. Soak yourself in His words, love, and embrace. Talk to Him. Give him your burdens and worries. I end with another verse I cling to daily.

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. -Psalm 55:22

Love and hugs


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